Lifestyle

Laziness- My Testimony

May 27, 2020

I'm Joey, the creator & founder of Beach House for Six. I believe your home should be beautiful, approachable & a true reflection of your family. 

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Let’s face it, with today’s changing world and this onset of COVID, our roles are changing whether we like it or not. We are forced to stay in our homes, social distance, be selfless to protect others, serve our families, be resourceful, clean and disinfect like crazy….kind-of sounds like being a mom to me haha! But to be serious, this is a tough time. I am not sure where you are and if your cruising through this time or losing your home and your business. I know as I am on social media and I see people going on about their business as if nothing in this world has happened and it’s discouraging. I hope I am not here to do that. Many of my friend’s lives have been affected and we daily are at risk of infection with my husband as a first responder. But we have hope and faith in these troubling times and lessons from the past guiding me in the here and now. We can’t control anything in the future but we do have to keep praying and moving even in trial and unknown knowing that God is in control.

I hear so many say they wish they could retire, or work from home and possibly that wish is a reality.

Maybe you are not that person and you enjoy work, the thought of being with your kids all day is more than you can bear or possibly you are getting out of the rat race and having time to sit and think about what your soul has been longing to tell you just the noise was so loud it was difficult to listen.

Maybe your out of work and depression is setting in and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Maybe you are none of the above and just need a good story to read. For the first time, you find yourself home and a fish out of water so to speak. I want to encourage you, dear friend, that whatever it is there is hope and grace waiting to help you navigate these times just like there was for me.

Our perception of our purpose in life will change our world view

I wasn’t always a stay at home mom. There was a time when I was a busy salon owner working full time behind the chair. Hustling and bustling and juggling life with little ones and a thriving business to run, it was nothing for me to work 7 days a week 10 hour days. I rather enjoyed it! Having spent years honing my skills and climbing the ladder of success you would think this turn of events in my life to walk away from it all would have been difficult but it was an easy one at heart.

Deep down in my soul there was always a question of my purpose in life. I recently heard a quote that I was compelled to write down and think about.

Our perception for our purpose in life will change our entire world view.

With all that success I never really felt I was living out my purpose believe it or not. There was an emptiness and a desire to be home with my babies. The noise was loud and society kept telling me that I should desire other things like success, money, and respect. We had a big house, a thriving business, bills to pay, and I could not imagine how I would walk away from it. It clouded my purpose and I continued to search fervently for it in the life I had. But you know what, life got harder, days got longer, and sadness grew deeper within me until one day I just gave up, fell to my knees, and surrendered to a God I didn’t really know.

In that moment of surrender, I was at my end and he did answer me. Slowly he gave me new eyes to see a chance at a life I never thought I could have and that did change my world view and new desires in my heart. I knew God was calling me to something more, and it would eventually lead me to realize that my purpose wasn’t something to discover, it had already been prepared for me and I believe whatever season your in it’s been prepared for you.

A quick note to Mama’s

Now this isn’t to say I think it’s wrong for mama’s to work. For the purpose of this article it seems appropriate to just offer you my backstory. There are definitely times and season and circumstances. Now that my kids are older here I am working as I write this blog. With lots of time on my hands after 18 years of being home (well I’m still technically home) I have time to explore a passion I have had for a long time and having a ton of fun doing it. Work is good! God loves a hard worker no matter what you do, a mommy, a trash collector, entrepreneur, or newly unemployed in quarantine.

Where is this going

There is a lot of unknown and you don’t have to figure it all out right now. I hope I can share here some things I had to learn over the years that helped me to shift my focus from what I knew to what I needed to learn as I embraced a whole new set of rules. With that also came learning how to work hard now at home. What seemed like a huge hurdle financially and emotionally actually was the biggest blessing. I knew that the choices we were making were ultimately for our good and grace was waiting there for me. God worked out the details selling our home, providing my husband with a higher paying job, and reordering our lives. God taught me about what it meant for me to have my identity in Him, accepting and embracing this new role with joy. In a sense mankind is being faced with these obstacles and questions whether we want them or not.

Working on new cabinets

Laziness

Newton’s first law of motion states that and object in motion tends to remain in motion, and an object at rest tends to remain at rest.

Some people are natural doers and like to be busy. They have a hard time slowing down and having seasons of rest while others struggle to get the motor running. If your reading this you might possibly be that person that has all of a sudden been given a lot of time and you’re not sure how to use it wisely. I will never forget the day (October 6, 2013) as recorded in my journal while in my morning quiet time I read this verse from Proverbs 6:6.

“Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.

I was so convicted by this little proverb. When I had my business holding me accountable it was easier to work, plan , and prepare. Now that I was home with babies it seemed as if I had all the time in the world. I mean being a mom is hard enough right? How often do we give ourselves a pass to work hard at home because we have children?

I wrote in my journal “Forgive my selfishness for sleep. Like the ant help me to prepare my days better. To plan for distractions. I pray for your grace father to see me through these last days with family and obedience to get my home in order.” I was struggling with laziness. Having a lot of time on my hands now and not a full-time business owner I had to reorder my days. With no school schedule yet and the overwhelming job of three young babies I began to fall into the trap of getting up late, staying in my pajamas all day, not making the bed, and leaving household chores for “later”. This was just “extra time” disguised as laziness.

Take some time and research the ant. Quite interesting insect they have alot to teach us about commitment, hard work, teamwork, and obedience using our resources economically. Interesting how God saw fit to use them as an illustration for hard work. Here are a few facts about the ant I found.

  • ROLES- Ants live in a community but each has a role that is for the health and good of the colony. (Everyone in the home has a role)
  • PLANNERS- Ants do not wait for winter to start gathering. They work all summer gathering and preparing for a long time underground.
  • PERSEVERE- Ants do not allow an obstacle to stop them from the end goal, they find a way around the obstacle or ask for help from another member of the community to move the obstacle.
  • HUMBLE-Ants do not take on a task too big for themselves and know when to resource.
  • SELFLESS- Ants are not selfish. They do not hoard all the food for themselves but rather share it among their community
  • OBEDIENCE- ants continue to do what God said for them to do. “There is a symbiosis between most flowering plants and the insect kingdom.” (McArthur) .

Application

So what do we conclude from this? On that October day back in 2013 I realized that even being home was a job that required work. I needed to change my thinking and perspective.

One of the best books I have read on time management I have linked here. It’s called “Shopping for Time”, and many of the principals I mention are drawn from. It will actually help to free you from all that you put on your plate to do the most important things.

I am also not saying times of rest and prayer are not to be overlooked. Praying and asking God to order your day is the first place to start. Looking to him in seasons of busyness that is all-consuming and asking, “What father would you have me to do today?” and trusting he will take care of what doesn’t get done is vital to planning your days. It’s easy to just let life happen but I believe God wants us to prepare, plan (like the ant), and order our lives entrusting he directs our steps. Proverbs 16:9

The heart of a man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

I also think we are called to prepare in ways that are wise for taking care of managing the most important needs of our family not missing the main point. Seeing to it that whatever we endeavor we have means to finish well. In other words don’t take on more than you can handle and not be able to finish well.

Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.

Proverbs 24:27

Let’s get practical

always something to clean

Prepare for distraction. Wait what? Haven’t you been telling me to order my day and not be distracted. Yes, but life happens and that is part of ordering your day. Especially if you have little kids you have to schedule white time and prepare for distraction. Some small steps I took to being a worker at home and preparing was by physically scheduling the amount of “actual” time I had in a day to get things done. With small kids, there were so many distractions so scheduling those into my days along with my daily chores was realistic. It seems that when we have no time, or a lot of time (like now) it can lead to actually doing nothing. I am not you so this will look different for everyone!

Priorities for my day and my husbands look differently and we agreed early in our marriage that he would work and I would stay home. So I better take this job seriously as I expect him to.

Now your distractions may be the news, social media, stopping to discipline your kids, fix boo boo, the phone call from a friend in need, an unexpected visitor, that heart to heart you need to have with a teen, or life you cannot change. I know hours can go by and I have not used my time wisely as I get swept into social media. I have no sports to drive to, nowhere to go so its much easier to get off track without a schedule.

People sometimes say they are more productive the busier they are and I totally get that. I encourage you to do that thing you have been putting off, get the weeds pulled, help a neighbor, and mainly prepare your days before they arrive to avoid the rut of being overwhelmed. If you need to reach out to a friend for help so you can spend some time taking a look at your day do so. If the kids are old enough, get them involved and making a day for taking care of responsibilities. You will be training them many valuable lessons as they become adults and have to learn the meaning of work.

A few other things I implemented in my days were setting my alarm to rise early before my kids, making my bed every day, getting dressed, taking a shower, exercising, and doing the things that I knew served my family well by keeping an orderly home. Now in this season of COVID, I find that I am busier than ever. I am sleeping a half hour later and going to bed later than usual but I determine to get up, get dressed, put on some make-up, shower, (shave if you’re a guy) and order my day. We are in a season of uncertainty and it’s weird but I believe there is still work to do. Life will resume. Maybe you need this season to pause and that’s okay too let me say again. But then its time to move forward, don’t stay in pause waiting for life to begin again. Use this time wisely because the days really are short, our time here is short.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesisan 5:15-16

Praying, planning, preparing, and ordering your day will help you to fight depression, laziness, and hopefully, leave you with a sense of gratitude at the end of the day. I hope this encourages you. I pray that God gives you direction as he did me that 2013 day whatever season or situation you are in.

Love to you

Joey

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  1. Kristine says:

    Great read Joey!! Thank you for sharing this!!! I can definitely connect with this 100%!! As I am a stay at home mom with three kiddies this definitely hit home for me!!